Cousin Dolly’s right … They’re both nuts!

A few months ago, before the Republican and Democratic conventions, I was excited to hear and talk about all political news related to both Trump and Clinton; in fact, I repeatedly told others, “I’ve never been more engaged in a presidential election!” Some would nod in agreement, and a spirited discussion would ensue. Some just looked shell-shocked, and I left it at that. Now … I can relate.

These days, I’m shaking my head in exhaustion and disbelief over what this election has become, and I’m remembering how I explained Donald Trump’s appeal to friends: “You know, there are times I’ve enjoyed him. He’s entertaining. He’s like the crazy uncle at the family dinners; everybody knows he’s going to say something ridiculous and start an argument, and his family loves him anyway.”

Think about it — how the Press chuckled and encouraged Trump throughout the Republican campaign, when there was once a full table of 17 contenders … some of them actually making sense. In the end, the Press was aghast and beside itself when the one left standing repeatedly bellowed:

Crazy Uncle Don

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, a smaller dysfunctional family gathered around the table; most were reasonable (but, boring) fellows. Still, there was “cantankerous Grandpa Bernie,” who could always be counted on for some excitement. The family’s matriarch was Hillary (who her critics have painted as a “Queen Bee,” because she has a reputation for being ruthless). She sat at the head of the table — at times, wishing she was somewhere else:

Hillary on cell

In the end, they all went home, and Hillary was left to gather up the dishes and clean up the mess in the kitchen, which she really didn’t mind because she preferred her own company and was organized and efficient. In fact, she was already planning the next party. The question was, “Who could she count on to show up?”

Donald and Hillary “know” each other; in fact, they’re distant cousins. Small world, huh? Their respective claims to power are in their blood, and their families have been friendly back in the day. But now, there’s bad blood between them, and they’re no longer speaking to each other. They are, however, saying a lot about each other — ad nauseam — to anyone who will listen. Of course, the town gossips pony up and listen to both of them and repeat it ad nauseam — with zeal — to anyone who will listen. Most people have begun shrugging their shoulders and returning to their own lives. (Truth is, neither one of them is all that popular.) Some poor souls still can’t get enough of all the lurid details, however, and they want more … It’s as if they’ve become possessed:

Zombies

Could the fear-mongerers be onto something? Is something akin to a zombie apocalypse upon us? No. Not zombies. They’re not real. Seriously. But, an Alt-Right movement? Now, that’s something to be scared about, and I’m giving Hillary points for being ruthless with that bunch of crazies.

As for the rest of the counterpunching going on between Donald and Hillary, I’m disgusted with it, because I’d really like to hear more about healthcare, education, foreign policy and the economy before the debates. And, I’m not the only one.

Thank God, a popular, down-to-earth voice of reason has spoken. Cousin Dolly is well-loved and respected by the young and the old; even the movers and shakers about town listen when she speaks. In so many words, she’s said, “Don’t listen to those two nuts anymore! They’re not saying anything that really matters to us, and they’re just upsetting a bunch of folks. Now, go on about your business.”

Dolly-Parton

So, that’s what I’m going to do. Thanks, Cousin Dolly. (I only hope sister Hillary takes your words to heart … soon.)

 

 

 

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